______________________________________________________________
      
     -- word biscuit --
    
                     -- father away edition --
    
                                         06-15-97 -- ray heinrich
    ______________________________________________________________

    what?
    -ray
 

    one of my dad's favorite poems:
      
    < the dog and i running through the forest >
            
            running a crooked path 
            like it was straight
            the dog and i
            cruising clear at top speed
            through the forest
            after
            and ever after
            we run
            while comets come 
            and go
            and stars
            live out their lives
            and flare
            and die
            and here we are
            the dog and i
            running through the forest
            
                    - - -
       


     
     < my father told me >

   republi-can'ts, but we can
   run about in the liberterarium
   making social-lists of all 
   who fall through the democracks

             - - -




        < male father >


      fully dangerous
      he is the hot pistol
      that amazed my mother
      and he is looking at me right now
      laughing as i try
      to find a way
      to impress you

      men of the life of my father
      i invoke your names
      in fear and distaste and respect
      i am slipping again into
      shotguns and dead animals
      around fires and whiskey

      my dream is of taking that shotgun 
      to your football helmet
      your aftershave
      your knives and boots
      and to all your goddamn jokes about
      sex and woman

      but i need your hug as well
      furry with body hair
      and caution

              - - -



        
             < shedding my skin >
        
        lots of guys have it done for them
        without anesthesia
        just days 
        after they're born
        
        my dad said:
            why pay them good money
            to cut off part of his dick? 
            mine works fine the way it is
        
        thanks dad
        every once in a while
        you're right
        
                   - - -




        < for mom and dad >
        
       so when did i get to thinking
       what wrong process 
       has me censoring 
       the poems i send you
 
       where did i get the idea 
       that i came from anything else 
       but the certain joy 
       of my father's 
       nail-hard cock 
       meeting 
       the wanting mouth 
       of my mother's cunt
        
             - - -
        




    < how far away it was >
    
    i'm standing over my father
    in the hospital
    he's stopped breathing
    i'm holding his neck 
    and shoulder
    and i've been rubbing them 
    because he always liked that
    and it's the best i can do
    while i'm waiting for him to die
    
    waiting for his next breath
    
    and it comes
    
    and another
     
    and then
    
    i'm waiting for his next breath again
    
    and i count
    
    one thousand and one
    one thousand and two
    one thousand and three
    
    like he taught me
    standing in our garage
    watching a thunderstorm 
    on the gulf coast of texas
    sometime 
    when i was maybe six
    he taught me to count 
    between the lightning flash and the thunder
    taught me to figure out
    how far away it was
    
            - - -





    < maybe next lifetime >
    
    some clear morning
    i plan to wake up 
    with nothing before me
    and as i open the door
    and stare 
    and ask where 
    has it gone
    it will be then 
    that what i recorded 
    will come back to me
    just what i thought 
    i deserved
    what my father 
    kept telling me 
    to expect
    but i 
    kept fighting him
    hitting him 
    as he hit me
    oh these males 
    are such kids
    and i was so busy with this
    i forgot to ask him
    forgot
    to listen enough
    so i turned 
    and listened to my own ignorance
    and i listened deeply 
    and followed its instructions 
    for 29 years
    but then
    i saw what you meant 
    just in time
    to hold you
    but not in time 
    to make any of this 
    up to you
    
    well
    
    maybe next lifetime
    
        - - -


    
    _______________________________________________________________
     
     if you know someone (yourself too) who would like to get word 
     biscuit irregularly (of course it's free), just send an email 
     saying something like yes to: ray@scribbledyne.com  

     you have my permission to copy and post this issue of word 
     biscuit so long as you obtain no commericial or barter 
     considerations in exchange for such copies, it's not part of 
     any pro-republican campaign literature, and you do the whole 
     damn thing including this stuff at the end (or you write to me 
     and ask first).

     old issues can be found at: http://wordbiscuit.com/
      
     and all this is copyright 1996 & 1997 by ray heinrich 
     and the free state of dogs.  comments are very welcome, 
     send to: ray@scribbledyne.com and i'm not wearing any pants.
    _______________________________________________________________
                                end



back