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the poems on this page:.
< another god-damned easter poem >
< basic training >
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< another god-damned easter poem >
most of you was naked
i
on the other hand
was getting close
to the end of the conveyer belt
dumping us off into the abyss
or
into all the chocolate we'd ever want
but
there was no way to find out
which
it was
it seems that way with us
all of us who vowed
to always sleep naked under the same sheet
now you can walk up on the proverbial street
and ask either of us this question
and get a reply like you'd expect
from nazis at nuremburg
or commies before HUAC
or some poor queer bastard
needing a break from a judge of 85 who knows
this pervert should be damned
i can't help any of this
i tell myself i got to take a shower
and wash all this off for an hour or two
wash the sins like the girl called christ
(she was in drag)
that died
or didn't
a few days from now
i have no idea what to make of all that
these people come to my door
and tell me one thing
and after 3am on TV
some other people tell me ten other things
but all of them
want me to send my money
where can i find christ
so i can give it directly to him?
will it burn my hands when i do this?
will i perish in fire for some vile perversion
that i forgot about?
or will i be forgiven?
i really need to be forgiven
like everyone i know needs to be forgiven
for watching the starving people on TV
for truely feeling compassion
for about 15 seconds
till the next commercial tells me
to buy corn chips
and I WILL
oh god i promise I WILL
buy them
and eat each one savoring it
as it changes to YOU my CHRIST
changes on this EASTER of remembrance
changes to the flesh of the flesh i am eating
and grows large in me
i sometimes think of the child i am to bear
of my mother telling me
i could never do this because i was a boy
but i never could believe her
and i refuse to this day
i will become large with my savior
i will give birth to some salvation
and the truth that has always escaped me
shall be evident to this child
which i will press from me
in pain and victory
like the rock
upon which all that follows will be built
- - -
< basic training >
exhausted
we finish another hike
in the desert around Fort Bliss, El Paso
laughing
at fatigues made white under our arms
from the salt left from our sweat
bullshitting
in the large, open barracks showers
my friend George says
"basic training is like a REALLY long gym class"
"but you get to carry real weapons"
i say
"but they're not loaded"
says george
"do you REALLY want Wilkins (another friend of ours)
walking behind YOU with a loaded weapon?"
"NOOOOOOO!" we both shout.
(but guess who ends up in Viet Nam)
on that cue
about six more guys walk into the showers
i can't help noticing
their cute little dorks
bouncing
on top of their balls as they walk
followed obediently by their
tight little asses
and the muscles of their legs
are pumped and distinct
from the miles of walking
i immediately start zen meditation
filling my head
with the sound of one hand clapping
because
in basic training
it is considered rude
especially in the shower
to get a hard-on
from watching your fellow soldiers
then i'm saved
as George motions we should leave
you see
George doesn't like the open showers
he can't stand the thought
that some queer
might be watching him
don't worry George
i say
your butt is way too ugly
he laughs
we laugh together
- - -
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